does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
