Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
