ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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