The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
