so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
