Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
