The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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