We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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