David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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