I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize