I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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