Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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