Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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