weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
