yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
