Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it's like heaven, but drunker
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
