uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
