Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
