After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
