omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize