We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
