Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
