Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
