I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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