the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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