I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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