Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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