Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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