hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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