Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
