well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
