o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
