I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
