Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Houston, we have a squirter
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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