Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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