so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
