last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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