I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
