I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
