I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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