never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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