i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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