I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
