i barfeds in our rink
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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