Umm I'm too high to move.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
sex in a hospital.. check
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
