its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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