no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
