Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
