Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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