You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Did you just see the Batmobile???
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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