You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize