He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
