Yo dont text me then not text me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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