What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
