she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
